Identify The Cause Of Stress By Cultivating Self-Awareness

Everyone will experience stress from time to time; it’s an inevitable affliction of modern-day life, but being self-aware allows you to identify the cause of your stress so you can take steps to reduce and manage it.

Internal and external stressors

Stress affects and manifests differently for everyone, internally and externally.

The effects of stress itself aren’t positive or negative, it’s how you respond to the physical and psychological effects that determine the outcome.

Humans aren’t designed to be rational; we are emotional beings and make decisions that clearly defy all logic based on our emotions. Factors that affect our decision making often stem from our life experience, belief system and mindset.

Cultivating self-awareness to identifying and understand the cause of your stress allows you to control if the outcome is positive or negative.

Internal stressors

Internal stressors are the biological and physiological effects of external stressors and determine your response and ability to deal with them.

Examples of possible internal stressors:

• Emotional well-being
• Overall health and fitness levels
• Unfulfilled goals and ambitions
• Nutritional status
• Inability to accept uncertainty
• Pessimism
• Quality of sleep
• Negative self-talk
• Feelings of anger, fear and worry
• Unrealistic expectations
• Rigid thinking, lack of flexibility
• All-or-nothing attitude
• Need to always be perfect
• Thoughts
• Anticipation
• Imagination
• Memory
• Presence of illness and infection

External stressors

External stressors are environmental conditions that are usually out of your control; the expectations, frustrations and complications of everyday life.

Examples of possible internal stressors:

• Significant life changes, such as the death of a loved one, divorce, career that requires one to be away from home frequently
• Work
• School / Tafe / Uni / College
• All the situations, challenges, difficulties, and expectations we’re confronted with daily
• Injury
• Relationship problems
• Financial worries
• Being too busy and overwhelmed
• Children and family
• Physical environment
• Losing a job
• Career choice
• Trauma
• Foreign organisms (bacteria, viruses, fungi)
• Poor work conditions

Identify and understand the cause of your stress

Cultivate self-awareness

In our fast-paced world, most of us are living on autopilot. We aren’t even aware of our habits, routines, perceptions and actions, and because of this, we are longer in control of them; they control us.

“Whereas a person with self-awareness can exercise a little meta-cognition and say, “Hmm… every time my sister calls me and asks for money, I end up drinking a lot of vodka. That might not be a coincidence,” a person without self-awareness just hits the bottle and doesn’t look back.” Mark Manson

The cause of stress can usually be linked with an event or thought you have had recently. Being self-aware, you will be able to identify the signs of stress and deal with the cause instead of distracting yourself and avoid the pain.

Examples of signs of stress:

• Arguments within your relationships
• Sleep deprivation
• Skipping meals
• Becoming easily irritable
• Being in a pessimistic frame of mind
• Overreacting to a situation
• Working yourself up about something
• Strong feelings and emotions (anxiety, sadness, emptiness etc.)
• Over-thinking and dwelling on thoughts and feelings

Methods of cultivating self-awareness:

• Practice mindfulness
• Accept and ask for constructive criticism
• Journal your thoughts using prompts
• Set SMART goals and track your progress

Practice mindfulness

Practising mindfulness essentially is becoming aware of where you are and what you’re doing, without becoming overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around you.

• Taking mini-breaks throughout the day to observe your breath, surroundings and focus on your senses
• Going for a walk without your headphones, let your mind wander and pay attention to what thoughts pop up
• Avoid multitasking and distractions such as checking your phone every time you receive a notification when you are performing a task that requires your full attention
• Journal your thoughts, write 3 things you are grateful for every day, find affirmations that help you focus on calming your mind

Be intentional when taking your mini-breaks; make the decision that you will pull your attention back from the sound of an unimportant notification, really feel and be intentional.

Accept and ask for constructive criticism

Constructive criticism, when received and given correctly, can be a powerful tool when cultivating self-awareness. It is an opportunity to learn your weaknesses and grow.

Stop and listen. I mean really listen to what the person is telling you, hold back your initial reaction to be defensive and take on board what they are saying. Accurate and constructive feedback comes even from flawed sources, meaning the person may not articulate the criticism in a way that isn’t perceived as an insult, but it is still valid constructive criticism.

Journal your thoughts using prompts

I am sure that it is no secret how powerful journaling is and at all surprising that it made it on this list.

So, here are some self-awareness finding prompts to get you started:

• What would your ideal day look like?
• What does a successful life look like to you?
• What gives you more energy: being around people or spending time alone?
• What are three activities that light you up and leave you feeling most energised?
• What is your biggest fear?
• What would you say is your biggest strength?
• Who are the 3 most influential people in your life today?
• What do you consider to be your most challenging flaw?
• What is 1 aspect of your life you’d like to improve over the next year? What would that improvement look like?
• What 3 to 5 qualities feel the most important for you to embody?
• What is the best piece of advice you’ve received?
• What is the number 1 thing that feels like it’s missing from your life right now?
• How do you think the 3 people closest to you would describe you if asked?

Set SMART goals and track your progress

“To design the life you want to live and set different goals in life that truly reflect your inner calling, you need to first be on the path to self-discovery. Knowing the ‘real you’ requires reflection on your thoughts and behaviours while building that understanding of what you truly want in life.” Dr Paras

Dr Paras explains in great detail how to set goals in life while you’re building self-awareness. A very in-depth article worth reading.

Identify the 5W’s

Now you have become more self-aware and can identify the signs of stress. It’s time to ask yourself the 5W’s and get to the root cause.

The 5W’s:

• Who
• What
• Where
• When
• Why

Who – Who is bothering you?

Who in particular is causing you to stress, who makes your blood boil, raises your temper or makes you nervous.

• Family member?
• Friend or foe?
• Cheating partner?
• A college?
• Your boss?
• Nosy neighbour?

What – What is bothering you?

Your job, relationship, home, expectations, challenges and things that are specifically stressful to you.

• Is it not being appreciated enough at home?
• Not excelling at school as you hoped?
• Work taking over your family time?
• Bills piling up faster then you can pay them?

Where – Where do you feel most stressed?

Some places can bring on stronger feelings of stress than others. These places are usually interrelated with the who, what, and when.

• Gym
• Your office or workspace
• At home
• School / Tafe / Uni / College

When – When did you start feeling this way?

Were you trying to please the in-laws, or were having wedding jitters? Did you have butterflies before an important presentation? These are situations that may already be stressful, but still, it is causing you more stress.

• Was it today?
• Last week?
• Months ago?

Why – Why does it bother you?

Yes, the question WHY. We often wonder a lot. We wonder what if, and we wonder why.

• Why am I confronted with these things?
• Why am I feeling stressed?
• Why am I not dealing with it, optimistically?

Techniques to ask yourself the 5W’s

As we have established, humans are emotional creatures, so the root cause of your stress will be surface deep. Armed with the 5W’s you can then decide which stress management techniques to use to help you overcome it.

The Interview

One of the most effective ways to get to the root cause of your stress is to talk openly about it. Sit down with a trusted friend and have them ask you the 5W’s. Explore each W in-depth until you find the root cause.

Journaling

Yes, it’s the journaling technique again. Journaling helps focus your mind on negative emotions by writing about your mood and helping track the most common causes, symptoms, and signals increasing your self-awareness and narrowing in on the root cause.

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So there are a few things to think about, but just reading them is not going to solve anything, being proactive in identifying the root cause will. Identify the cause of your stress by digging deep and asking yourself the 5W’s using either technique.

Identifying the causes of stress in your life is the first step in effective stress management. Once you’ve figured out what your stressors are, you can take steps to manage and reduce them.

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Do you have a technique of getting to the root cause of your stress I didn’t mention? Have you recently used the techniques I have suggested?

Leave a comment below or contact me via email krystal@the-wellness-blogger.com or my social’s and let me know your experience x

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